Don't Get Excited - They're Not Leaving Us Any Time Soon

IT IS said in journalism circles – columnists are either advocates or analysts. I do not entirely agree, the good column calls for a bit of both, the trick is in getting the balance correct.

I tend to spend my time advocating changes to Scottish football, but, try to analyse the possible effects of the measures I am advocating. Sadly, with the need to get stuff written and attract “clickbait” to the relevant newspaper websites, today's newspaper journalists are denied the time, and often the space to properly analyse the measures they are advocating. Thus, we see the same old shite being regurgitated.

Today, a wee story which we have seen before was given its annual dust-down and posting. It seems the Old Firm are, again, about to up sticks and depart Scotland for the richer pastures of the English League.

OK, never say never, but, I don't see this happening any time soon. I know the English Premiership is so-rich, and has so-many placemen sitting round the Football Association's corridors of power, they, could, in theory, do as they liked and invite the Bigot Brothers to join the party tomorrow. However, they have had their hands on the reins of English power for quite a long time now, and have never yet ushered them in. Why change now.

And, make no mistake – unless they are guaranteed straight entry into the Premiership, the Old Firm will stay put.

The latest suggestion is, that since the Football League – the body which administers the 72 clubs in the three divisions – Championship, League One and League Two – below the Premiership are suggesting they go to five, 20-club divisions, which would mean the admission of seven new clubs, then the: “Come and join us” call is about to be made to Celtic Park and Ibrox.

Aside from the legal challenge which would follow from the top clubs at the top of the non-league Conference, can you honestly see Celtic swapping home and away fixtures with Barcelona, Manchester City and Borussia Monchengladbach – plus whoever they get if they clinch third place in their Champions League group and drop into the Europa League (I will not insult your intelligence by suggesting they could reach the knock-out stages of the CL this season) – for exciting trips to Accrington, Carlisle, Crewe, Grimsby and Stevenage. No, me neither.

There are only two ways whereby the Old Firm will be allowed to leave Scottish football – if FIFA decides, since the four nations are from the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, then there can only be one team, representing the UK – and there is no indication that FIFA would do this to four nations, who are members of the International Football Associations Board, or, if the European Clubs Association, a body of which the Old Firm are members, decides th break away from UEFA and form their own super league, or if UEFA promotes such a league.

That is their more-likely exit route, but, that will not happen for a wee while yet. So, it seems, we are stuck with them for now.

NICE one Son, that's all I can say to young Oliver Burke, on his transfer to the Bundeslegia. I hope the boy matures from this chance.

Maybe The Two The Polis Lifted Were Singing Off-Key

CLEARLY, the Offensive Behaviour at Football Act (OFBA) works. Two Rangers fans have been lifted for singing offensive, sectarian songs, during Friday night's SPFL game at Rugby Park.

These guys are wasting their time following, following – with that sort of ventriloquism ability, they ought to be on TV. I could have sworn, from the volume which came across during the BT TV broadcast of the game, most, if not all of the estimated 8000 Rangers fans at the game were giving it big licks.

Now, it appears it was Celtic supporter Juan Guys two Rangers-supporting cousins, the Twoguys. Amazing.

On the subject of their arrest, as ever, constrained by the notion – everyone is innocent until proven guilty, the papers have reported the arrests as for “alleged” sectarian singing. So, myself, every other TV viewer, not to mention the rest of the crowd at Rugby Park, and the residents of the surrounding streets, only thought we heard Ra Peepul, wearing their sashes, guarding Derry's Walls and most-definitely up to their knees in Fenian blood. Aye right.

What will the two arrested guys plead: “Honest Sheriff – Ah wisnae singin' Ah wis jist miming”?

SO, Craig Gordon has been dropped/rested (please delete according to how much of “Pravda's” output you believe.

Once Brendan Rodgers signed Dorus de Vries, big Craig's jersey was always heading for the shoogly nail in the corner of the dressing room. As a fully-aid-up member of Lodge Number One, the goalies' ludge, I have every sympathy with the big man. Goalkeeper is the most-solitary position in the team, there can be only one and all that, and, Brendan clearly favours de Vries.

I don't think Craig was entirely blameless in midweek. Certainly that daft second goal wasn't all down to him, but, had he been old school, and allowed the ball to come through to him, jumping to clutch it to his chest or stomach, then it would have stayed there, regardless of collisions with daft defenders. I agree with Chris Sutton – and there's a first – most, if not all the blame has to go to Gordon. He was the guy facing play, it was his call as to how to deal with that innocuous-looking ball, and he blew it.

When he first broke into the Scotland team, Craig looked as if he could be our best-ever goalkeeper, but, injury, and his long lay-off have blunted that. He is still a good 'keeper, he is still capable of the sort of brilliant reaction save which has him as the holder of the Best-Ever Premiership Save, but, in terms of command of his area, comfort with the ball at his feet and organisation at set pieces, he is some way off the top level. He has a good bit of extra work to do to get back to being Celtic's, and Scotland's, Number One.

At least, he is still a better goalie than Joe Hart.

SPEAKING of goalkeepers – what does Jamie Macdonald of Kilmarnock have to do to get into the Scotland squad, even as number three 'keeper?

He has the experience, he was wonderful on Friday night, but, he is not “showy”, he just does his job. As a long-term Killie fan, he is, for me, a worthy successor to the many great goalkeepers I have seen in my nearly 60-years of going to Rugby Park.

In that time, we have had: Jimmy Brown, Sandy McLaughlin, Bobby Ferguson, Campbell Forsyth, Jim Stewart, Ally Hunter, Allan McCulloch, Bobby Gedess, Dragan Lekovic, Gordon Marshall, Alan Combe, Cammy Bell, Craig Samson, and now Macdonald. A long line of good, occasionally great 'keepers, all of whom, with the obvious exception of big Dragan, have appeared for various Scotland sides. Jamie is in good company there.

AILSA, one of my Silver Foxes – a group of 60-70-something ladies, who have gone from cutty sark-wearing Bonnie Lassies, via Ladies who Lunch to fiesty grannies, still able to kick-up a storm, has a secret passion – she is a Kilmarnock season ticket holder. As such, she was in her usual place in the Frank Beattie Stand on Friday night.

She says: “Boydie “sprinting” through the middle of your defence to score is God's way of telling you – you need a centre-half”. There is no need for further comment.

Nowadays - More A Disgrace Than An Embarrassment

THANKS to my BT broadband subscription, I was able to enjoy last night's Kilmarnock v Rangers game, without having to actually travel to Rugby Park.

Well, maybe “enjoy” was the wrong word – quite frankly, the game was mince. A cracking opener from Boydie, an even-better equaliser from James Tavernier, a superb save from Jamie Macdonald, a contender for the worst “tackle” we will see all season, which rightly earned a red card, and the usual mix of genuine and controversial contentious refereeing decisions. Nothing I saw changed my mind, the title is Celtic's to lose.

Rangers are fielding a team, few of whom are “Rangers Class”. The cry is still “No Defenders”. Worse, Ra Peepul again decided to use the platform of a televised game to unleash the worst chapters of their song book. Never mind, the backbone, and the will to punish their indiscretions simply does not exist at Hampden, or, more-crucially, at the top of the famed marble staircase.

When you have "Neds" running the club, is it any wonder the Neds on the terraces believe they can do and sing what they like?

I do not care if it the old club continuing, or a new club; the team on the park still attracts a following which is a constant embarrassment and now more than occasional disgrace. Mind you, what good is the Offensive Behaviour at Football Act, if Ra Peepul can still sing their filth at will?

Come on SPFL and SFA, grow a pair and shut them up.

There is nothing more to be said today.

Green Cards And Sin BIns Would Be Good Fot Football

I HAVE actually covered field hockey matches for newspapers. So, while I do not consider myself to be an expert on the game, I know what is going on. I certainly enjoyed watching the GB Women winning gold at the recent Olympics.

I can therefore say, those who are calling for the introduction of hockey-style (roughly the same system operates in ice hockey) penalty shoot-outs – where the taker has eight seconds in which to run-in and shoot, rather than the straight penalty flick from the spot – are talking through their hats.

The hockey/ice hockey penalty works, because the goal is so-small. In football, with its bigger goal, it would be too-easy to draw the keeper out, then lift the ball round him. And reasonably-skilled taker would have a huge advantage. Mind you, a lot of 0-0 penalty shoot-outs coming up in Scotland I would say!!

But, one thing I would like to see brought into football from hockey would be the green and yellow cards for foul play, also the use of sin bins – which also occur in ice hockey and rugby. In hockey green cards are flourished when a foul is sufficiently bad to halt an attack but the referee (actually an umpire in hockey) decides it was a case of bad timing or whatever, with no malice aforethought. The miscreant is then sent to the sin bin for two minutes.

A yellow card is issued for a worse foul, or, if the official decides there was malice aforethought, and this carries a longer term in the bin.

Now, imagine this in football. Fouls in which an attacker was taken-out would earn the tackler a green card and two minutes, but the cynical tackles, like jersey-pulling and the so-called “professional” foul, would be more-harshly punished. If this came into football, I could see a good many games descending into long periods of five-a-side.

I would also like to see a basketball-style totting-up procedure invoked, whereby the guys committing the fouls have them credited (if that's the right word) to the individual player. In basketball, five personal fouls and you are out of the game – some Scottish defenders wouldn't last to half time, which would make matches interesting.

“Soccer”, “Association Football”, “Fitba”, call it what you like, but, that form of football in which two, 11-a-side teams attempt over two 45-minute periods, to propel a round ball into goals at either end, is the most free-form version of the many codes of football played world-wide.

As such, it demands, I would suggest, the most-stringent refereeing standards, to allow the game's artists to flourish. Instead, the game has become the least-stringently-refereed. It is too-easy for those who are paid to stop the creators from creating – the “hammer-throwers” of popular legend, to prevail. If they were hammered by green, yellow and red cards and personal fouls tallies – football would be the better for it.

I COULD not see Celtic failing to qualify for the group stages of the Champions League, after their first-leg romp at Celtic Park. But, they had me sweating at half-time in Israel on Tuesday night. I felt, if Hapoel Beer-Sheva had scored in the first 15 minutes of the second half, things might have got a bit interesting, but, Celtic went through.

Mind you, the draw did them no favours. If there is such a thing as a “Group of Death” in this Scot season's CL, then, Celtic are in it. Right now, any position better than fourth is a win for the Hoops.

IN SPITE of my best intentions, I watched last night's opening episode of the new BBC Scotland series on “Scotland's Game”. Stupid title by the way, in world terms, Scotland's game is bowling – that is the one in which we excel and have, at any one time, a clutch of world-class stars.

Any way, Episode One was the same-old, same-old. The BBC's house band of football talking heads: Cosgrove, Spiers and MacDonald, Traynor, McPherson and English. Where, however were the intellectuals – Pat Nevin, Michael Stewart etc?

It was, as ever, mainly about the Bigot Brothers, superficial and crap – a wee bit like Scottish Fitba.

BBC Scotland's Scottish football coverage adheres strictly to the “Liberty Valance Rule” - “If the truth belies the legend – print the legend”.

Enjoy International Retirement Broonie - You Got More Caps Than Maybe Your Talent Deserved

PARDON me if I do not join in the wailing, gnashing of teeth and rending of garments at the news Scott Brown has retired from international football.

The four men in central midfield in my first live Scotland international were Ian McColl, Tommy Docherty, Bobby Collins and Sammy Baird. I was a Tartan Army foot soldier through the years of Bremner, Baxter, Bobby Murdoch, John White, Archie Gemill, Asa Hartford, Masson and Rioch, Souness, Strachan, McStay, McAllister, Lambert and Burley, not forgetting John Greig in his early days as a midfielder, plus, the magnificent Dave Mackay, or Eddie Turnbull in his last, glorious swan-song during the 1958 World Cup, I also rate Darren Fletcher way above Broonie.

There you have it, 22 better Scotland central midfielders I have seen than Broonie – ok, 21, I will give you Sammy Baird. But, the fact is, in no other age in Scottish football would Broonie have got anywhere close to winning 50 caps, he is a very lucky boy to have got into the SFA's Hall of Fame, or whatever they are calling the 50 caps club these days.

I give you, he has been a very good player in a series of winning, but still, by Celtic standards, mediocre teams – but, Scotland class – not for me.

The best summing-up of Broonie I have seen was posted by a Herald journalist, in a piece praising Andy Murray's Olympic gold medal. It read: “You will never see Andy pictured, lying on an Edinburgh pavement, clutching a kebab, at 2am.” That for me, said it all about why Broonie can never be a Scotland great.

I SEE Big Sam Allardyce would like to see Team GB enter football teams in the 2020 Olympics. Well, pro-independence though I am, I am with you on this one Sam. BUT, it will never happen, UNLESS – the (English) Football Association sets-up a proper UKFA purely for the purposes of running the Olympic programme, and genuinely gives the Northern Irish, Scottish and Welsh FA each a say in how the programme is run; the three Celtic associations get a written, binding deal from FIFA to say, such an Olympic programme will not threaten their international independence.

Of course, the best outcome would be an independent Scotland having its own Olympic Games programme, but, we might have to wait until the 2024 Games for that.

HAVING been given permission to sell alcohol inside Meadow Park during the annual Marymass game against Irvine Vics, the Meadow had a change of mind, and no drink was sold on the night. This, however, did not prevent one spectator, presumably a Meadow fan, from invading the park and spitting on a Vics player who had just scored from the penalty spot.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen is the great conundrum of Scottish football. We have arguably, more bams per square foot of terracing than any other nation on earth; these bams are going to get fuelled-up and misbehave; should we allow our clubs to profit from their bamness by selling them drink inside the ground, or, should we continue to allow them to fuel-up outside the ground, before coming in to misbehave? Decisions, decisions.

Of course, as our opposition politicians tell us, we do not need an Offensive Behaviour At Football Act – aye right.

SOME salient facts around why Brian McClair resigned from his Player Development role with the SFA, have emerged. It appears Brian told the sixth floor blazers a few home truths, then suggested one or two wee changes which might be made, which would help us produce better players.

Only the blazers kent better than Brian, his suggestions were not taken up, obstacles were, apparently, put in his way, so, he left. I have said it before, and will go on saying it – though doubtless nothing will happen – but, the biggest drawback to Scotland progressing as a football nation is, we seem to have some of the stupidest and worse administrators in football. And, by that, I do not mean the paid guys (although, it's fair to say some of them could not get elected dog catcher in a one-horse race), I refer to the club officials who make the final decisions.

You Watch Andy Murray, Then Despair Of Scottish Fitba

Probably the best player Hibs ever missed-out on

I HAVE to admit, I am finding it more and more difficult to blog on Scottish football, at the start of this 2016-17 season. This is because, I despair of our national game.

I am currently number-crunching for a piece I am writing on Scottish football history. I still have work on this to complete, but, I already know, our performance graph is almost entirely moving in a downward direction – and, I have absolutely no confidence in the High Heid Yins inside Hampden doing anything to turn this downward track into an upward one.

Take this week, for instance. Week Two of the 38-round marathon, at the end of which, we discover which of our top 12 clubs will be crowned Champions. Actually, we could all save ourselves some pain, by giving the trophy to Celtic – now.

Sure, the Lap Top Loyal will do everything within their considerable media power to build-up Rangers as genuine challengers, but, I will be amazed if the trophy does not remain at Celtic Park come the end of the season.

The Celtic Family will rejoice, but, the truth is, this is a poor Celtic squad, mind you, the Rangers one which currently leads the league after the first two games – thereby “proving” to the satisfaction of Ra Peepul that – Rangers are back, is even further away from being a genuine Rangers squad than the one across the city is from being a good Celtic one.

Mediocrity rules in Scotland, get used to it.

By the way, well said the impressive Anne Budge, who has pointed out, we have too-many so-called “senior” clubs in Scotland. I have been saying this for years. It has been that obvious for years. The new girl in the Hampden think tank has already noticed, good luck to Anne in trying to persuade the stumblebums around her in the corridors of power to notice this.

And, while I am ranting, BBC Shortbread is frantically trailing a “ground-breaking new series” on what has gone wrong with The National Game. Having watched the trailers, featuring the usual suspects – Stuart Cosgrove, Graham Spiers and Erchie MacPherson, it will be the same-old, same-old; much ado about nothing.

I HAVE been assessing Scotland's international results since the (English) Football Association and Queen's Park invented international football back in 1872. I am still, as I said above, number crunching, but, here is what I have got at the moment.

1870s – Scotland won 66.67% of the internationals played, taking 72.22% of the available points.

1889s – Scotland won 84.62% of the internationals played, taking 88.46% of the available points.

1890s – Scotland won 63.33% of the internationals played, taking 68.89% of the available points.

1900s – Scotland won 50.00% of the internationals played, taking 57.78% of the available points.

1910s – Scotland won 46.67% of the internationals played, taking 60.00% of the available points.

1920s – Scotland won 69.70% of the internationals played, taking 74.75% of the available points.

1930s – Scotland won 52.38% of the internationals played, taking 58.73% of the available points.

1940s – Scotland won 41.18% of the internationals played, taking 47.06% of the available points.

1950s - Scotland won 47.76% of the internationals played, taking 55.72% of the available points.

1960s – Scotland won 46.03% of the internationals played, taking 52.91% of the available points.

1970s – Scotland won 42.05% of the internationals played, taking 49.24% of the available points.

1980s – Scotland won 39.77% of the internationals played, taking 49.24% of the available points.

1990s – Scotland won 41.11% of the internationals played, taking 49.63% of the available points.

Between the end of the Second World War and the end of the 20^th century, Scotland only won 42.85% of their internationals, accruing 50.85% of the available points. I have still to collate the results for the 21^st century, but, we know we have been consistently poor in that period, so, things are not going to improve.

As I have said, I still have numbers to crunch, but, already, it is clear, we have been kidding ourselves for years that we matter in football.

SPEAKING of trying to kid people. Celtic at the weekend opted out of facing Partick Thistle in the SPFL, to pop over to Limerick and face Inter Milan in a glorified friendly. This was insulting in the extreme to the rest of the SPFL.

Aye, it's great that Celtic remains a big-enough name to be invited to participate in such a high-profile game, but, without continued success at home, and annual exposure to European football, such invitations would soon dry-up. Thus, while European football and glamour friendlies are the jam in football – the league grind is the bread and butter.

Celtic then proceeded to field a team some-way short of full-strength. They had enough of their first team squad watching in Limerick, these guys were surely capable of facing Thistle, with all due respect to Alan Archibald's men.

I have been saying it for years, until the rest grow a pair and stand-up to the Bigot Brothers, Scotland will continue to stagnate in football. Never forget, if the English Premiership was to suddenly find a way to invite the Old Firm on-board, we would not see them for dust.

They are bullies, and the only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them. Come on Scottish football, grow a pair.

I WATCHED that Andy Murray v Juan Martin Del Potro gold medal tennis match from Rio last night – what an epic. What state would Scottish football be in if Andy Murray, brother Jamie, cyclist Callum Skinner, rower Kath Granger and our other Scottish heroes and heroines of the Rio Olympics had been Scottish boys, who dedicated their lives to being the best footballers they could be?

I like to dream, but, the realist in me accepts, the guys running the game would have managed to have blunted their promise and made it impossible for them to reach their potential, after all, they've managed to do this very successfully for at least the last half century.

And, by the way, that second “deuce point” in game ten of the fourth set was a wonderful rally, more-gripping than any penalty shoot-out. Del Potro was serving for the set, to take the match into a fifth set, but, Murray broke him for 5-5, then went on to win the set 7-5 and the match by three sets to one.

Then I went to the athletics and that incredible 400 metres world record, followed by Usain Bolt's 100 metres master-class Fitba - forget it.

A Scotsman on top of the podium

Once Again - In Europe, We Are All Celtic Fans

ONE OF my mates in the Ayr Coffin Dodgers Society is what I call a “soft” bigot. He claims to be an Ayr United fan, but, if you miscall the Honest Men, he never bites back, while he goes slightly ape shit if you dare to criticise Celtic.

I got a text from him on Wednesday night; asking where my cynical text had gone, when Astana equalised. Clearly, he mixed me up with someone who gave a toss about Celtic. I was always confident in the Hoops' ability to see off the team from Kazakhstan – once I was certain Brendan Rodgers was not going to let Efe Ambrose anywhere near the field.

Celtic are still building-up to full speed, but, even at 80%, I still fancied them to win – which they did. Let's hope they get a reasonably-easy draw, if there is such a thing in Europe today, for the Play-Off round.

I certainly had more faith in Celtic winning on Tuesday night than I had in Aberdeen winning in Maribor. Better Aberdeen teams than this one have had seriously bad second leg European results, and, Scottish teams have never won in Maribor. I couldn't see the Dons winning, even before UEFA appointed a member of the Bulgarian division of the Homer clan as referee.

Some35-years ago, an experienced Scottish basketball official told me: “Success in Europe is never guaranteed, but, you can help yourself. You “buy” the referee in your home leg; I don't mean by bribing him, other than by ensuring his experience of Scotland is a great one, and he thinks you are a tremendous club, willing to treat him like royalty. Then, you work on his good opinion of you to get the big calls – but, you still have to win well-enough at home to offset the fact, your opponents are going to pull the same stunt for the away match.

“Treat your referee at home well, then, don't upset the officials in the away leg and you have a chance”.”

Aberdeen didn't help themselves – they failed to keep 11 guys on the park; they missed a penalty; they didn't score when on-top. Don't blame the referee, blame himself. And remember Jock Stein's wise words: “Take the referee out of the equation, don't give him a chance to be a factor in the game, by maybe sending off one of your guys, or having to decide if a penalty box tackle was good or concedes a penalty”.

Jock Stein died 30-years ago, his words of wisdom are even more true today than they were back then.

THE GUARDIAN ran a piece this week, timed to coincide with the opening of the Women's Football cometition at the Rio Olympics. They picked the top 20 women footballers of all time. Of course, this being an English competition, they had to get a couple of English girls into the list – while managing to overlook almost-certainly the three best British women footballers ever – Rose Reilly, Julie Fleeting and Kim Little.

But hey, these girls are from Scotland, a small country, far-away from London, of which the English know little and care even less. One or two Scots commenters got their retaliation in, quickly, and chapeau to the Jock who pointed-out, England's Kelly Smith was on the list, described as “a deadly finisher”, ahead of Little, a midfielder and Fleeting – a real finisher.

Smith has scored 46 goals in 117 internationals. Little, an attacking midfielder remember, has scored 46 goals in 115 internationals, while Fleeting has scored 116 goals in 121 internationals.

As Craig Brown was want to say about his fellow SFA executive Jim Fleeting: “Aye, he sires the best Scottish international striker, ever, and makes her a girl”. Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!

SO, that's us; the league season has not even started and already we are down to Celtic being Scotland's only hopes in Europe. The Hoops will now almost have to win the Europa League – come-on, does anyone think they can win the Champions League? If Scotland's UEFA co-efficient is to get the significant boost it needs.

With each passing season we become further detached from the nations we should be competing with, and closer to the nations we once treated as “diddy teams”.

We are already beneath Cyprus, a Scottish team has lost to one from Liechtenstein in Europe. This season, Hearts lost to a team from Malta – we are almost at the foot of the barrel.

FINALLY, understatement of the week surely came from Rev. Stuart Campbell, who runs the excellent Wings Over Scotland political digest site. Stuart is an unashamed Dons fan, which colours his judgement when he, as he occasionally does, he comments on fitba.

This week, challenged as to why he apparently favoured Celtic over Rangers, Stuart replied: "Because only 60% of the Celtic support are knob-heads, against 90% of the Rangers support". I may disagree with his percentages, a tad on the low side I would say, but, it is difficult to fault his judgement.

Bad Though It IS - We Need This Law - Improve It, Don't Repeal It

I AM not and never have been a fan of the Offensive Behaviour At Football Act (OBFA as it is known). I said when it was introduced, it was bad law, hurriedly introduced and badly drafted.

That said, if the Police were unwilling to act using the already established “catch-all” Breach of the Peace Act, and if the SFA and the SPFL were unwilling to act to clean up the terraces, then bad law is better than no law.

I would never say offensive behaviour at football matches was the sole preserve of the Bigot Brothers and their followers – I have seen fans of many other Scottish clubs, senior and junior, causing offence inside and outside grounds, but, the sad fact is, the Bigot Brothers, having more fans, have lunatic fringes which are often larger than the entire fan base of some other clubs.

To give you an example, about 25-years ago, West Sound reported crowd trouble at a Lugar Boswell Thistle v Dalry match, at Rosebank Park. Hearing of this, while covering a game at Somerset Park the same afternoon, I was a bit taken aback. By my reckoning, if there was a break-in at a Lugar v Dalry match, I would back the players, on the grounds there were more players than spectators, and, in any case, there is no history of discord between the two clubs' fans.

Discussing the case with a couple of Ayr United back-room men, both from Lugar, we were in agreement – without knowing any of the facts: “Peachy was involved”. Peachy being a well-known Lugar loonie, for want of a better description.

Sure enough, later inquiries confirmed, “Peachy” had started the whole shebang. That's one guy, probably 5% of the entire attendance at the game. Imagine the damage 5% of an Old Firm crowd could cause – that's 3000 people, roughly the number allegedly on the pitch at Hampden after the Scottish Cup Final.

So, the capacity for disorder is always there. The football authorities have had many opportunities to set an example, by punishing the followers of the two clubs with the longest history of causing bother – and, in case any Celtic fans take umbrage, I accept, in recent years, the Rangers following has been the worse behaved of the two, but, the Celtic Family has its share of objectionable characters too. Hampden has been loathe to take the two clubs to task.

I have long held, if the “blazers” were to grasp the nettle and dock points, the clubs would HAVE to take action. Wringing their hands and claiming: “There is nothing we can do”, will not wash.

Now, we come to the latest proposals for scrapping the Act. This is being put forward by MSP James Kelly, a Labour member of the Holyrood parliament, who has himself fallen foul of the powers-that-be, having already had one “red card” at least for bad behaviour.

So, he can talk. However, it is fairly common knowledge that Mr Kelly supports the green and white half of the Bigot Brothers, it is also fairly well established that TGFITW simply refuse to accept, they have a lunatic fringe, greater than the ubiquitous “Juan Guy”, who seems to be blamed for every outbreak of bad behaviour inside Celtic Park.

“It's no us, it's them”, is the constant plea from TGFITW. They think such tasteful ditties as “The Famine Song”, “Derry's Walls” and the rest of the Rangers song book should be banned and anyone singing them should fall foul of OBFA, whilst the Celtic Song Book is ok. Less Whitabootery and a bit more whit ur we gonnae dae aboot it, might help.

Instead of trying to scrap OBFA, Mr Kelly and his cohorts should be making honest efforts to redraft it properly.

FORMER footballer Dugald McCarrison hit the headlines this week for the wrong reason – after he pleaded Guilty to a theft charge, in connection with his job as a storeman. It is always sad when someone falls off the straight and narrow, it is a severe blow to him and his family.

The case would surely not have hit the daily papers, but for one thing – McCarrison's short period as a professional footballer, and the fact he played for Celtic. It is an old habit of the Scottish press to use any connection with either half of the Old Firm as a hook to hang a story on. They know, putting: “Former Celtic/Rangers player in.....” on a headline will attract the public to want to read the story.

I have lost count of the number of times I have seen such headlines, only to quickly realise the player being referred to is hardly a household name in his own household. Such headlines are symptomatic of a small, inward looking country. For instance, I recall a former Prime Minister of New Zealand joking: “Had I been an All Black, the headline on my appointment would have been: 'Former All Black becomes PM' rather than what it was”. Scotland and New Zealand – a lot in common.

Any way, I am sorry for Dugald that it has come to this, mind you, he always struck me as having a screw loose. After Tommy Burns paid £100,000 to take him from Celtic Park to Kilmarnock (how times change, that was for a Parkhead fringe player – you could get a first-team regular for that today), Dugald hit a good streak of form, unfortunately towards the end of the season. We Killie fans were looking forward to seeing him carry-on in the same form in the new campaign. Unfortunately, demonstrating his “screw loose” approach to life, Dugald promptly went off for his close season, agreed to play with his mates in the Lesmahagow Gala Day, broke a leg and was never the same again. Ach, the boay's fram the 'Gow, whit dae ye expect?

Still, I hope he can come back from his latest fall off the straight and narrow.

STILL on the subject of Celtic men, allegedly with a screw or two loose – can I just say, I agree with Scott Brown. From what I have seen of the new-look Rangers squad, even with the class of Barton and Kranjcar, they are carrying too-many players who are, in my auld Hun of a faither's words: “Not Rangers class”, to be genuine challengers for the title this season.