Old Firm In The English Premiership - Further Away Than Ever After Saturday

LET'S LOOK for the silver lining from Saturday's reported clashes between Celtic and Sunderland “supporters”. Regardless of who started it, or who or what was to blame for the disturbances – this was surely another nail in the coffin of the ludicrous case for somehow shoe-horning Celtic and Rangers – should that troubled club ever recover to its former status – into the English Premiership.

The Good from Sunderland v Celtic - the Hoops go in front

As this blog has often maintained, the only way the Big Two will ever escape the strait-jacket of being Scottish to reach the sun-dappled riches elsewhere is, if we get a proper, franchised European League.

and The Bad

Incidents such as those on Saturday are grist to the mill of the lesser English clubs who do not want to see the Old Firm getting close to the current riches of the game south of the Border.

Mind you, if Brexit goes as badly as it could, we could well see a 21^st century version of the South Sea Bubble, involving English football.

But, well done Celtic, for doing the business where it mattered – on the park. That result could, hopefully, be the boost they need for this week's potentially-perilous trip to Norway.

And well done too to the massive Rangers' following to their game with Sheffield Wednesday at Hillsborough. No reports of bother there, and a morale-boosting 2-0 win. Mind you, a quick look at the Owls' page in the Sheffield Star, reveals a less-than-impressed home following. But, that's football fans for you.

BACK HOME, the group stages of the Betfred Cup, finished with Ian Cathro's manager's coat on a seemingly shoogly peg at Tynecastle. A situation which has nothing to do with the ongoing work on the new stand.

I said when young Ian was appointed, it was a major gamble. He made his name as a coach of young players and, as I said at the time, is maybe destined to be an effective Number Two than the main man.

Ian Cathro - gameble such as his appointment need time

But, to jettison him now would be a mistake, and I don't see Ann Budge having made many since she took charge at Tynecastle, but, Hearts need to start the league season well, or, the cries for Cathro's head will grow.

Of course, a lot of the sound and fury is being generated by the usual suspects of former Hearts' players, none of whom exactly possess impressive managerial CVs, of even a current post in football management.

A well done, by the way, to Ian McColl's Ayr United, for an impressive group campaign. If they can keep that form going, I know a lot of Honest Men who will have a good season.

BROWSING facebook this morning, I spotted an old black and white picture of Joe Jordan, Tam Forsyth and Danny McGrain showing-off the Jubilee Trophy, the silverware which went to the winners of the old Home Internationals. I got to touch this magnificent trophy once, when it was on-display in Edinburgh during the abortive “Celtic Connections” efforts to win the rights to host the European Championships, some years back. It really is a fantastic example of the silversmith's art.

This picture got me thinking

Any way, for most of the year, this once-important soccer artefact resides in a bank vault in Belfast, since Northern Ireland won the last Home Internationals back over 30-years ago. I have long thought, bringing the Home Internationals back, as perhaps an Under-23 competition, as a means of bridging the gap between the Under-21s and the full national side, might not be a bad idea.

AND SPEAKING of off-the-wall ideas. Last week, Commonwealth Games Scotland held a media day, at Murrayfield, where the basketball, netball and rugby sevens squads for the Scotland team to next year's Commonwealth Games in Australia strutted their stuff for the cameras.

A host nation for the CGs has the right to nominate a sport for their games, and, I felt when Glasgow hosted the games, at Hampden in 201, Scotland missed a trick, by not nominating football.

Frank McAvennie - Scotland v Australia in the World Cup qualifier in 1985; why not in the Commonwealth Games too?

Imagine the crowds we might have had at Ibrox, Firhill and Parkhead for a Commonwealth football competition including the four Home Countries, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Nigeria, Ghana, Jamaica, Canada and the likes. It would probably have had to be, as with the Olympics, an Under-23 competition, and would surely have attracted big crowds.

This was, I believe a chance missed. But, why shouldn't football be in there at future games?

Scotland Expected - We Would Go Out In Unfortunate Circumstances

AS I settled down to watch last night's Scotland v Spain match in the Women's European Championships, I wondered which of the four possibilities I had identified would reveal itself.

OPTION ONE: Scotland plays well, but can only win 1-0 rather than by the required two-goal margin, thus failing to qualify.

OPTION TWO: Scotland plays well, gets the necessary two-goal margin of victory, then England fail to keep their part of the bargain by failing to beat Portugal.

OPTION THREE: Scotland plays well, are cruising, 2-0 up and we give Spain a last-minute goal which eliminates us.

OPTION FOUR: Scotland rise to the occasion, get the necessary two goal lead, then control the match to cruise into the quarter-finals.

You will note the order of these options – we are Scotland, the easy option is the last resort. Long experience has taught us, there are three ways of doing things in tournament football – the easy way, the hard way and the Scotland way.

The girls last night in many ways rode their luck against a technically-superior Spanish side. I would say, a Scottish men's team, playing a Spanish men's team, would have conceded several goals -the male Spanish strikers would have put away most of the chances the Señoritas squandered last night.

Compared to the anguish wee Billy Bremner suffered in 1974

And, while it wasn't as heart-breaking as yon half-chance wee Billy Bremner stabbed past the post against Brazil back in 1974, when Leanne Crichton blasted that great chance over the bar from that corner, early in the second half, I just knew, it was going to be the same old, same old Scottish sang of so near, yet so far.

Leanne Crichton's miss last night was nothing

But, all things considered, the girls did us proud, we should applaud them. Just think, losing the likes of Kim Little and Jenni Beattie to injury was the equivalent of a Scottish squad of the time being denuded of Kenny Dalglish and Willie Miller. Had that happened back in the day, we'd have been in full Private Fraser: “We're awe doomed” mode.

Anna Signeul now departs to Finland, some of the elder stateswomen will surely bow out and Shelley Kerr will come in, with the basis of a good squad in place and hope to see Scotland kick-on from Euro 2017. Next stop the Women's World Cup ladies – you can do it.

Shelley Kerr - will hope her new charges can kick-on from Holland

Finally, now Scotland is out, I can safely ignore the Engerlund, Engerlund, Engerlund cheer-leading from Channel Four. They don't know they annoy us, they just cannot help themselves.

WELL DONE too to Aberdeen. Conceding that away goal was unfortunate, but, they take a lead to Limassol for their second leg match, while the Cypriots will be without one of their top players.

Of course, as Andy Roxburgh and Craig Brown have been telling us for the last 25-years: “There are no easy games in Europe any longer”, so, Derek McInnes will be taking nothing for granted. I am confident he can plan how the Dons will approach the second leg, and that he has the squad to make that plan work.

Mind you, both Aberdeen in Cyprus and Celtic in Norway, will doubtless give us one or two hairy moments, but, I am confident they can qualify for the next round of their respective competitions.

One would like to think, BBC Scotland or STV could get off their arses and arrange for coverage for the fans back home, but, I am not holding my breath for this.

THE A76 and A75 roads might be a wee bit busier on Saturday, because I expect Ayr United to take a half-decent support to Galabank for their Betfred Cup clash with Annan Athletic. A couple of my fellow coffin-dodgers in our little Ayr-based social circle are getting a wee bit excited at the thought of the Honest Men qualifying, top of their group, at the expense of Kilmarnock.

Ian McColl, beating Killie gave the Honest Men belief

One of them is a fanatic, following United home and away – the other, who can barely make it the half mile from his house to Somerset Park, is considering a rare excursion to an away match.

Certainly, United have kicked-on well from that morale-boosting opening match win in the Ayrshire Derby, wee Ian McColl has got the team playing well and it would be nice to see them going further in the competition.

One of the Worthies wants Rangers in the next round, but, I have accused him of wanting the easy way through and suggested he ought to seek a harder challenge for his heroes.

ELSEWHERE, some of the other final sectional games are also nicely-poised. Match of the weekend ought to be the last one – Sunday's Dundee Derby, with the near-neighbours in Tannadice Street locked together at the top of the group, each with three wins from three matches.

But, the clash of Hearts and Dunfermline, well, there's a fixture with a bit of history and the Pars, managed of course by a former Hearts Hero, will fancy they can cause an upset. This one too will be worth watching. Let's hope the fans turn out.

One thing the League Cup has always done, right from its inception at the end of World War II, is, throw-up some unlikely teams advancing. For instance, Livingston can sit back on Saturday, the idle team in their group, safe in the knowledge, they are already through to the knock-out stages, from a group in which they were expected to be make-weights. Add one or two upset results and, this competition has maybe been better than the media attention it has received.

All To Play For, But, Should We Be Surprised?

CELTIC'S Champions League ambitions are nicely balanced as they head for Norway and next week's second leg of their third qualifying round tie against Rosenborg.

With the tie still 0-0 at what is effectively “half-time”, it is all to play for in Norway, even if, in boxing parlance, Celtic are behind on points. Thankfully for the Hoops, there are no points decisions in football – it is the knock-out blows, putting the ball in the opposition's net more-often than they put it in yours, which count.

So, Celtic have a puncher's chance – provided they can get one of their strikers fit and onto the park next week; otherwise, Oh Dear – Disaster for Scotland! Again.

On paper, Celtic ought to win; they are ranked 64^th in Europe, Rosenborg are ranked 154^th. That's via the club co-efficients. When it comes to the association co-efficients, Scotland is ranked 26^th in Europe, Norway 27^th. So, the two clubs are a lot closer when it comes to the standard of the leagues they play in; in which case, the fact that the Norwegians are already well into their season, while Celtic are still getting up to speed, is significant.

This blog has pointed-out before. The Scottish football season has, seemingly for ever, operated on the basis of an August to May season – a ten-month campaign max. The reality today is, with our lowly club and association co-efficients meaning we are down among the diddy nations, the old certainties no longer apply; Scottish football must adjust and setting ourselves up for an August to May season does not work when we have to be in-action one month earlier.

Brendan Rodgers

What's that old homily, beloved of coaches who learn from a book: “Fail to prepare – prepare to fail. I would never accuse Brendan Rodgers of failing to prepare his side, but, maybe Brendan- and the other Scottish managers, need to look a fresh at how they do things and amend their preparations.

I accept the sheer physical demands of their game are harder, but, I would bet the rugby players of Glasgow Warriors work harder and longer than do the footballers of Celtic and Rangers. I also believe the sports science back-up, the strength and conditioning regimes and the player welfare provisions at Scotstoun are better than at Lennoxtown and whatever Rangers' training ground is called these days.

For instance, and again I accept the collisions are harder, the knocks more-extreme in rugby, but, Warriors' players, particularly their internationalists are bound by a five-game maximum rule. They play five games, they have to sit-out the sixth.

Scott Brown doesn't have to face the physical challenges 

OK, Scott Brown is not going to be immediately flattened by an angry 18-stone Tongan or Fijian every time he wins the ball, but, he does not get the built-in rest periods in his season that the likes of Finn Russell enjoys. Warriors' coaching staff know what is their best team, they also know what are the big, most-important games and their planning for the season is based around having the top guys fit and raring to go for when they are most needed.

 Finn Russell has to try to avoid

Can Celtic and our other top sides make this claim? Is Scottish football as far into squad rotation as Scottish rugby? I fear not.

Our rugby players are no different from our footballers – they are being paid to do something they love, play the game. They would most-probably play for nothing, but, their ability allows them to have the best of both worlds. But, our rugby players know, the SRU values them, has a duty of care to them and has built-in protocols which will enable them to play the game they love for perhaps longer than players from less-scrupulous nations.

The SRU – which owns the two professional clubs – fights hard to keep our best young talent in Scotland, but, when our talented players are established and at, or hopefully just past their peak, the SRU has no objections to the players cashing-in via a big money move to the richer pastures of England and France, as a means of securing their long-term future.

In football, too-often, the clubs rush to cash-in on still developing talent, with players not yet ready, leaving Scotland and failing. This, by the way is no new development, it has been going-on for generations.

So, you see: maybe I am counting two plus two and getting five, but, Celtic's struggle against Rosenborg is, I believe, the latest example of how behind the times we are in Scottish football.

Scots may have: “built the modern world”; Scotland may have developed the beautiful game, but, we are falling behind and if we do not, quickly, absorb the lessons of these early-season European travails, the gap between Scotland and the best will only grow.

I KNOW, given the fact some Tartan Army foot soldiers still turn-up at the now occasional Scotland v England matches bearing banners saying: “Remember Bannockburn”, and that the followers of two of our more-prominent clubs fondly recall battles fought in 1690 and 1916, Scottish football fans have long memories.

For this reason, the events surrounding Rangers FC between 2012 and 2016 will never be forgotten. Our still unborn great-great-grandchildren will, if football lasts that long, still be debating the issues in 2112, of that I am certain.

So, we might as well, now, let matters rest and drop this absurd vendetta, designed to have Rangers stripped of the trophies and titles they won during what will henceforth be known as: “the EBT years”.

It isn't going to happen, so, save your money, don't subscribe to the crowdfunder for a legal challenge. The titles and trophies will remain, for one simple reason – to remove them would mean the SFA and the other Hampden blazers having to admit, they made mistakes and got some things wrong – and that is never going to happen.

Donald Findlay QC - a top talent who charges top whack

Also, have you any idea what top court-room (rather than barrack-room) lawyers can charge? Donald Findlay doesn't come cheap. As Chairman of Cowdenbeath, be presumably puts money into his club – how absurd would it be if the Blue Brazil and the other wee clubs, all of whom are struggling financially, had to dip into their funds, to pay Donald's fees for defending Scottish football against a bunch of fans determined to embarrass Rangers and the SFA even further than they have already embarrassed themselves since 2012.

Some times the hardest thing is letting go, as regards this whole Rangers issue – now would be a good time to let go.

Well Said Paul - But, That Horse Has Bolted

I KNOW, I spend a lot of time criticising the personality-driven agenda which passes for football coverage in Scotland today. But, just occasionally, one of these puff pieces comes up with a nugget or two of truth.

 Paul Lambert, right, in Champions League action with Borussia Dortmund

So, well-said Paul Lambert for his views on the Champions League as it is currently organised. The former Scotland captain is well-qualified to comment on the CL, he has, after all, won the thing, so, he has the tee-shirt, the DVD and, most-importantly, the winner's medal.

But, sadly, PL's views will not get Celtic, or whichever team wins the 2017-18 and future Scottish Champions the guaranteed place in the CL which that status ought to guarantee. It goes without saying, a “Champions League” should be limited to the champions of Europe's leagues.

If the UEFA playing field was level, the CL would involve the Champions of the 55 member associations within UEFA. A competition involving these 55 clubs and only these 55 – with perhaps the defending champions, should they not have won their own domestic league - would be a true Champions' League.

But, the stable door is long kicked down over that one. It is not going to happen.

If the right to rule football of the big beasts – the Real Madrids, Barcelonas, Bayern Munichs, Juventuses, Manchester Uniteds and Chelseas seemingly HAS to be protected, and I don't see that it has – then why does not UEFA go the whole hog, hand management over to the European Clubs Association to allow it to form a sort of European NFL, and UEFA could concentrate on what ought to be its core role – developing football across Europe and taking care of ALL the national associations, not just the big boys.

UEFA's current club rankings list 442 clubs across the continent. The top 10 in the list are: Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid, Barcelona, Bayern Munich, Juventus, Seville, PSG, Borussia Dortmund, Manchester City and Benfica. Whaur's yer English Premiership: “The Best League in the World” noo?

 The crest of the best team in Europe

Positions 10 to 20 are filled by: Arsenal, Porto, Chelsea, Napoli, Bayern Leverkusen, Manchester United, Schalke O4, Shakhtar Donetsk, Zenit St Petersburg and Fiorentina.

We then have to go all the way down to number 64 to find Celtic. Then, zipping past such household names as Wigan Athletic (99), and a few teams which are not even household names in their own households, we find, at #192, Aberdeen.

St Johnstone are at #217, (three places below Wales's New Saints), with Motherwell at #244, Hibernian at #266, Heart of Midlothian at #294, Inverness Caledonian Thistle at #296 and Rangers at #311, (78 places above Progres Niederkorn by the way).

That's the reality of where we are in present-day European football.

In the big professional leagues in North America: MLB, the NBA, NFL, NHL and now too: MLS – the richest sporting leagues in the world, the top baseball, basketball, American Football, ice hockey and soccer teams have their places in their leagues and therefore, there noses' positions in the financial trough guaranteed.

Below that, through North America's long-established collegiate sports system, the future talent is allowed to develop and these players get an education and prepare for “The Show” in whichever discipline they favour through the NCAA system.

Here, they still get exposure to TV and keen competition through a progressive season – beginning in their local conferences, then going on through the national play-downs to the big events – the Bowl games in American football or the annual “March Madness” of the NCAA basketball season, so winners still emerge, and new stars are born.

The above statistics are gleaned from UEFA's club co-efficient standings, the figures are no-more comforting when we look at the associations co-efficient tables, which read:

Top 10 – Spain, Germany, England, Italy, France, Russia, Portugal, Belgium, Ukraine, Turkey. Places 11-20: Netherlands, Czech Republic, Switzerland, Austria, Greece, Denmark, Croatia, Poland, Israel, Romania.

Scotland - the 26th best country in European football

Scotland comes in in 26^th spot, below: Cyprus, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria and Sweden. Indeed, I would say, the only country with a lower ranking than us, which has fallen as far, or further, will be Hungary, who are 35^th.

So, Paul Lambert, and the rest of us whinging Jocks, can scream all we like about how unfair the current system is, and about how it penalises our clubs, but, the fact remains, we have not done a lot about getting up the co-efficient tables in recent years.

The only way any Scottish club could possibly qualify for the big league, should my suggestion of a European NFL or similar ever come about, might be if the ability to attract fans became a major component of entry to this league.

In that case, Celtic and Rangers could make a strong case. At the end of last season Talksport issued a rankings list of the top 30 clubs in Europe – based on their average home attendances. Celtic came 10^th , with an average home crowd of 55,882, Rangers were 21^st with an average home attendance of 48,573.

Their ability to pull-in the fans, regularly, in big numbers, would appear to be the only grounds on which even our big two could lay claim to being top clubs.

Scottish football clearly has work to do.

WHEN he was running the MIM basketball team, Sir David Murray never got involved in the governance of the game in Scotland. He, perhaps rightly, thought his club was bigger than the game; and, there was the impression across the rest of the sport that if he said: “Jump”, the full-time office bearers, who ran the sport day-to-day, would not even have asked how high in any case.

So, when he bought Rangers, he never involved himself in the minutia of Hampden meetings and football politics – again, maybe he thought Rangers was bigger than the game. With that wonderful thing, hindsight, he maybe should have spent a bit more time glad-handing, building alliances and being nice to people. Or, did the fact, when push comes to shove, the Old Firm will adopt an agreed position which suits them and the diddy teams will fall in line, perhaps guide his behaviour?

 Rangers' MD Stewart Robertson

Any way, for all the mistakes which have been made upstairs at Ibrox since even before liquidation and rebirth, there is something reassuring about Rangers' Managing Director Stewart Robertson being elected to the SPFL Board. For too long, Rangers have not had a meaningful presence in the corridors of power and Robertson, the one serious professional on the Ibrox board, has the experience to make his presence felt there.

Scottish football has tended to do well when both halves of the Old Firm took an interest in events around Hampden, so, with Robertson on the SPFL board and Peter Lawwell on the SFA one, could Scottish football be about to turn the corner?

Hearts' Anne Budge

And, by the way, how good to see the excellent Mrs Anne Budge retaining her slot on the board, such a pity Hibs' Lee-Ann Dempster, another formidable and intelligent lady has had to step down.

A Family Affronted Hit Back At Their Naughty Children

I AM delighted to see the vast majority of the Celtic Family has taken umbrage at the childish response - dummy-spitting and toys out of the pram throwing - of the so-called Green Brigade to the two-game ban which Celtic handed them, following their attention-seeking display of stupidity during the Champions League qualifier against Linfield.

The banners that caused all the bother

As more than one Hoops fan has said, the GB appear to think collectively, they are more-important than the club whose name they drag so often through the mud. Their efforts certainly seriously undermine the efforts of the self-appointed: “Greatest Fans In The World” to cement bragging rights and moral high ground occupation in the perennial battle for this with the gang from across the city.

We non Old Firm fans have long held the respective fan bases to be: “Twa cheeks o' the same erse”, the difference perhaps is the Cancer in the Celtic support base is more concentrated in one place, the Rangers' cancer has spread further through the entire body, and at least, when it costs them money, the current Celtic management seems more-prepard than their counterparts across town to do something about its lunatic fringe.

MIND YOU, for all the efforts of the many heid cases who follow-follow across town – easily the biggest embarrassments around Rangers have been found in the poshest seats. I recall saying, when the whole thing first went tits-up, back in 2012, there were children then still to get out of kindergarten, whose entire school fees at some of Scotland's most-exclusive educational establishments would be covered by their parents' travails poring through law books, studying legal precedents and offering their expensive advice.

M'learned friends have done, are doing, and will continue to do well out of Rangers – one hopes, some day, a major legal entity will say a heartfelt “thank you” to the club by becoming jersey sponsors – it's the least the club deserves.

But, before then, we await the sorting-out of the latest twist in the tale, with the weekend suggestion that Le Vicomte Vert de Normandie and the Whyte Laird of Motherwell, or maybe more-properly lawyers representing them or their past interests are laying claim to whatever they can get from the wreckage of the liquidated pre-2012 entity.

There is always the “don't ever suggest it” scenario – whereby, everything that has gone on over the past five years or more is ruled to have been illegal – and ownership of Rangers reverts to Sir David Murray. I reckon he would then say: “No thank you, not for me”.

Sir David Murray - might get an offer he could refuse

WATCHING the early part of the final stage of Le Tour, meant I didn't have to sit through the Engerlund, Engerlund, Engerlund build-up to the Scotland v Portugal Women's Euro game. We certainly began well, but, once again watching our Women was just like watching our men – chances missed, a lack of composure – particularly in the opposition penalty area - then, the first time our opponents attack: the cry was no defenders. Seen this DVD before – often.

At half-time the shots-on-goal figure was 7-1 in Scotland's favour, and we were trailing 0-1. The second half was, if anything worse. Ach! Watching Scotland puts years on you, writes Socrates MacSporran, aged 105.

However, all is not lost, we are not out of it entirely. If the girls can beat Spain by two goals or more, assuming England beat Portugal – which they ought to do – then, Scotland can qualify.

Again, I have seen something like this video before. Back in 1963, a Scotland Men's squad which included such luminaries as Billy McNeill, Dave Mackay, Jim Baxter and a forward line of Willie Henderson, John White, Ian St John, Denis Law and Davie Wilson went off on an end-of-season European Tour.

They began by losing to a then amateur Norway – 3-4, lost 0-1 to an unranked Republic of Ireland, and, with John “The Voice of Football” McKenzie, demanding in his despatch from the five star Jury's Hotel in Dublin that the SFA: “Bring this lot home before they embarrass us further”, they set off to face Spain in the Bernabeu. Result, Spain 2 – Scotland 6.

Davie Wilson - scored in the Bernabeu

See, it's these sorts of occasional, impossible dreams, that keep you going back for more with Scotland.

I HAVE long railed against the personality-driven guff which passes for football comment in even the “series” newspapers in Scotland. You know, the article in which some hapless hack has managed to make sense of the witterings of some “personality” who once, in a meaningless end of group pot-boiler, on a wet October night in some central European state, missed a good half-chance for his club, or for Scotland.

Better for Scottish football if such “stenographers” summoned their inner Ian Archer or Cyril Horne and told it like it was. So, kudos to my big Buddie Graeme Macpherson of The Herald, for penning an interesting dissertation on televised football. A good read and well worth thinking about.

THIS MORNING'S inspirational text in the Monday sermon to “Ra Peepul” is all about how good Bruno Alves and Niko Kranjcar were during Rangers' 1-1 draw with Marseilles, at Ibrox on Saturday.

OK, I have told this tale before, but, this is as good an excuse as any to re-tell it. Years ago, when George Burley (remember him), was finding his managerial feet at Ayr United, he signed one or two experienced mates. United still stuttered occasionally and, one afternoon, with things not going well at Somerset Park, the Honest Men got a free-kick wide on the right, some 40-yards from the opposition goal.

Gathered round the ball were manager Burley (34), fellow former Scotland cap Arthur Albiston (35) and former Motherwell man Gordon Mair (36). “Enclosure” George Reid, the arch-critic of United managers and directors since before Ally MacLeod's first spell at the club could not resist it.

Turning to the Directors' Box, George bellowed: “Aye Mr Chairman, I see your youth policy is working”. It brought the house down.

 George Burley - part of Ayr United's "youth policy"

The message is: you need a backbone of experience, but, you also need some good young “legs” to work off the older guys. Do Rangers have that today? Only time will tell.

George Reid was an accountant, and legend has it, one morning a group of Ayr United players – the names given included Robert Reilly, Robert Connor, Alan McInally and Stevie Nicol – but, that might be gilding the lily, turned up at George's office, gathered round his desk and verbally abused him for five minutes.

 Robert Reilly - got his own back on a critical fan

When George objected he was told: “Well, you turn up at our work and shout abuse at us on a fortnightly basis”. Then everyone laughed. I bet a lot more players would like to have had the chance to do this.